In the middle of a strong 0-6 road trip the Chicago White Sox decided to celebrate in style with two female blowup dolls in Toronto before Sunday's game.
It is unclear at this time who positioned the two ladies, both naked, in the clubhouse with the player's bats surrounding them. It's rumored that this is a common ritual for the Chicago White Sox to get the team out of a slump.
Some words from the manager Ozzie Guillen:
"I don't think we tried to disrespect or hurt anybody's feelings. We just tried to have fun and to keep things loose. Obviously a lot of people took it the wrong way," Guillen said, adding he did not buy the dolls.
"I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I can't come up with the words, because as soon as I say that, that means I'm guilty of something. I'm not. I'm not guilty. ... We just had a plastic thing sitting on a table and, wow, we're bad people," he said.
Here is my take on what happened:
After a fast start the White Sox are beginning to falter and are now 1 game behind the Minnesota Twins. After losing 6 in a row the team panicked and erupted into chaos.
Ozzie shouted "What do we do!?"
A few players suggested extra batting practice but Ozzie quickly spat in their direction.
Then when all seemed lost a ray of hope came forward. Newcomer Nick Swisher stepped forward.
"I know what we can do boys.... this is how we got it done for so many years in Oakland. Someone needs to get 2 blowup dolls ASAP!"
Apparently the dolls didn't work right away because the White Sox went on to lose the next 2 games.
Rumor has it they brought in a third doll for back up before their first game back at home after the road trip and sure enough they got a win. Clearly the third doll did the trick.
It's rumored that the Texas Rangers, Colorado Rockies, and San Diego Padres all put in calls to their local porn shops in hopes of saving their seasons.
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