MVG: Most Valuable Garage

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Mike Lowell the 3rd basemen and World Series MVP of the Boston Red Sox, had his dreams come true on Sunday night. Asked how he felt now that he helped win the World Series and receive the MVP, Lowell replied, “Yeah been there done that, but did you see the prize package Chevy rolled out for me!? I’ve been dreaming about a Chevy Malibu since I was 14 years old, and tonight it finally came true. You know it’s what you do when you’re a kid…you sketch pictures in your notebook; you daydream during fielding practice about the wind in your hair as you’re cruising in your new Malibu. I just want to thank God for giving me the ability to play professional ball, so I could have the opportunity to win this car.”
Lowell surprised many by not being at the early morning player’s celebratory breakfast. The only word from him was a letter left in his locker which read,
“LATA SUCKAS!
Just me and my Malibu.”
-Mike L.
The sudden change in Mike’s attitude was felt throughout the clubhouse. Dustin Pedroia, a MVP candidate had this to say, “Yeah sure the fans are happy about the World Series, but man that 0-4 tonight with a double play really killed my MVP chances. I let my friends down, I let my family down, and most of all I let myself down. I mean the Malibu is the only thing on four wheels outside of a Go-Kart that I can reach the pedals on. I’ll never have the opportunity to win that car again.” All Star David Ortiz had this to add, “Big Papi hits all those home run in 2004 and beat the Yankees, and I didn’t get the Malibu. Now Mike Lowell a throw in with Beckett gets the prize? Makes no sense to Papi…I mean that car is too small for big Papi, but my wife wanted it to accessorize her Malibu Stacy collection. Now all I hear is David when do I get the Malibu?”
We were able to catch up to Mike Lowell cruising at a speedy 85MPH down route 66, in what else but his brand new Malibu. “You know, said Lowell, I couldn’t have been happier to get rid of my Ford Selene S7, who needs a super charged ford when you can get the quaintness of the Malibu.” He then sped off muttering something like “I hope this doesn’t bump me up into another tax bracket.” This reporter did a little digging and discovered that Lowell at 9 million per season will not be affected by the 20k blue book value of the Malibu.

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Lowell played his last game of the season, and maybe his career, in the Red Sox' loss to the Yankees Saturday.