(Washington D.C.) In a stunning turn of events Clemens has denied ever denying he used steroids, while former trainer Brian McNamee affirms he never confirmed Clemens ever took PEDS. Apparently the two of them were so convinced of each others guilt that they flipped on themselves! It’s a classic case of he said he said turned into he never said that I ever said that he said that. The two befuddled and confused Congress much like Bugs used to do to old Elmer.
Since the revelation of an impending federal charge dropped on the heads of Brian and Roger their tunes immediately changed. Roger was recently quoted as saying, “I have never denied the fact that I denied the implication of using a syringe that may or may not have contained B-12/HGH, but I will affirm that I am willing to deny almost anything at this point in time, according to my counsel.” McNamee’s stance on the matter has also been clouded, “I have continually confirmed, but never positively proved that in denying the facts I may affirm his use of PEDS, but if I affirm anything it’ll be my right to later deny it.”
The world has come to a stand still as the two face off in a battle of confusion in order for Congress to determine which one is more of a true loony tune. The committee chairman Rep. Henry Waxman has said they haven’t reached any conclusions. He later added, “I mean on one hand you have this guy who acknowledges he took shots in his ass from another guy on the regular, and that guy admits to saving the gauzes he used to wipe the blood off the other guys ass. I mean who cares what was in the syringe if I had a say I’d lock them both up.” When reminded he did have a say in the matter Rep. Waxman walked away mumbling something about only two things coming from Texas.
For now we can only wait, hope, and pray that the faith we entrusted to our national government will put an end to bloody pants in men’s locker rooms across the nation.
Deny! Affirm! Deny! Affirm! Affirm! Deny!
By Jon Pysz - Posted on February 14th, 2008
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